How often do you say, “I don’t have time” or “There just aren’t enough hours in the day”?
I hear statements like these at least once a day, sometimes more. It always strikes me as bullshit. Why? Because it really isn’t true. We all have the same amount of time available to us each day. It really boils down to the choices we make in our lives daily, monthly and yearly.
I hear statements like these at least once a day, sometimes more. It always strikes me as bullshit. Why? Because it really isn’t true. We all have the same amount of time available to us each day. It really boils down to the choices we make in our lives daily, monthly and yearly.
The Importance of Boundaries
Perhaps you are a busy executive. Perhaps you are a busy stay-at-home Mom (or Dad!) managing kids and a household. Perhaps you are both. Regardless, you make choices every day around time. Sometimes you say yes to things you really want to say no to, and sometimes you say no to things you really want to say yes to. But what drives your decisions? Is it lack of clarity? Guilt? Obligation? Distractions? Do you really want to say no to someone, but you don’t want to hurt their feelings? How much are you managing your time each day, and how much is it managing you? How much are others managing your time? If you are a manager, are employees coming to you for every little thing? Even if you aren’t in management, do people stop by your desk at work to chat and you are too polite to tell them you are busy?
All of these scenarios boil down to boundaries. Are you creating and honoring your boundaries? I will tell you this: no one will honor your boundaries or your time except for you. Some Moms can’t go into the bathroom without their kids following them in there. Other people allow employees to bug them for every little problem because they feel obligated to put out all the fires. If you aren’t enforcing time-related boundaries, I guarantee there are other areas in your life where boundaries are also being crossed.
All of these scenarios boil down to boundaries. Are you creating and honoring your boundaries? I will tell you this: no one will honor your boundaries or your time except for you. Some Moms can’t go into the bathroom without their kids following them in there. Other people allow employees to bug them for every little problem because they feel obligated to put out all the fires. If you aren’t enforcing time-related boundaries, I guarantee there are other areas in your life where boundaries are also being crossed.
How to be Honest with your Time
If you are ready to start being honest with time, start here:
Look at your calendar a week at a time and create what I call “white space time.”
White space is blank time on the calendar that is reserved for just you. It could be 30 minutes twice a week or more or less. Start with a time that is ‘easy’ at first. Block it off the calendar for the next four weeks. It is important to pick a time manageable enough that you won’t easily sacrifice it. Pick a time frame that you are willing to commit to. If it’s 15 minutes twice a week, that’s great.
The whole point of this exercise is to get you used to the idea of you choosing yourself no matter what. If you are unwilling to commit to a few minutes twice a week, what does that mean for the rest of your time (and life)?
If anyone asks you to do something during these time frames, there are a few lovely responses you can say that respect your time while also respecting their time:
Notice: you aren’t saying “I don’t have time.” You are respecting your choices with time. It’s completely different. And in the end more empowering.
Okay, off you go. It’s practice time. Get this on your calendar. Let me know how it goes in the comments below. Next time we will go into more time management. One step at a time my peeps. :)
Image credit: TIME by becosky... via Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0
Look at your calendar a week at a time and create what I call “white space time.”
White space is blank time on the calendar that is reserved for just you. It could be 30 minutes twice a week or more or less. Start with a time that is ‘easy’ at first. Block it off the calendar for the next four weeks. It is important to pick a time manageable enough that you won’t easily sacrifice it. Pick a time frame that you are willing to commit to. If it’s 15 minutes twice a week, that’s great.
The whole point of this exercise is to get you used to the idea of you choosing yourself no matter what. If you are unwilling to commit to a few minutes twice a week, what does that mean for the rest of your time (and life)?
If anyone asks you to do something during these time frames, there are a few lovely responses you can say that respect your time while also respecting their time:
- “I am not available at that time/date. But thanks for asking.”
- “I choose to use my time in this other way.”
Notice: you aren’t saying “I don’t have time.” You are respecting your choices with time. It’s completely different. And in the end more empowering.
Okay, off you go. It’s practice time. Get this on your calendar. Let me know how it goes in the comments below. Next time we will go into more time management. One step at a time my peeps. :)
Image credit: TIME by becosky... via Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0
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