I invite you to review this list and pick out your top ten, then your top 5. Take those top 5 and determine how often your decisions and actions are in alignment with them. If you notice that your decisions and actions are not in alignment with these top 5-10 values, you aren’t being true to yourself.
As I coached her on this topic, we learned she had values she wanted to honor, such as integrity, respect, commitment, and making things better, but they were misdirected. By that I mean that she was directing those values at the organization, rather than herself. She was struggling to honor her commitment and integrity by not giving up when the going gets tough. In essence, she was choosing to follow these values by people pleasing, rather than honor them towards herself. Showing respect and integrity to herself would have been to remove herself from a toxic situation.
Once she saw this perspective and realized the power of staying true to herself (even if it is uncomfortable!), I could see she felt much more at peace, and was ready to approach the situation with more compassion.
Essentially, if you aren’t showing integrity to yourself, you are not really honoring the value of integrity. She discovered she could respect herself AND her supervisor by initiating a conversation and expressing her observations, but acknowledging his perspective as well. She could honor integrity by bowing out of this organization in a professional way. If it ‘ain’t working’, you aren’t doing anyone any favors by forcing yourself to stay. When you know your values and make decisions based on honoring those values (utmost to yourself, but then to others), you are living a life of authenticity.
- Where am I doing something because I feel like I should do it?
- If (insert value here) is one of my top 5 values, do I honor what (this value) means to me in my daily life?
- Do I believe it is even possible to honor this value in my life?
Are you ready to discover your values? Contact me for a free one-hour coaching session and I will get you started. It will be well worth your time.
Photo credit: Balancing Rocks by Viewminder via Creative Commons License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0