As much as we think we are in control of life, it isn’t the case. Life is really the one in charge.
When we attempt to control life, we are being motivated by fear. “Whoa!” you might say, “What?”
For example, when we are in traffic, we want everyone to drive like us (follow all traffic rules---but we ALWAYS follow ALL traffic rules, right??? ha ha). We don’t want any traffic jams and want to reach our destination on our timeline. But, we all know traffic laws are not always followed. Drivers are distracted (texting/talking on phone), and some are just bad drivers. We can’t control this, and this makes us vulnerable every time we get into a car. Someone could hit you and cause major damage to the car and worse, yourself and your kids. It’s very scary. Yet, do we acknowledge this vulnerability? Most of us do not. Instead, we attempt to control our environment.
When we attempt to control life, we are being motivated by fear. “Whoa!” you might say, “What?”
For example, when we are in traffic, we want everyone to drive like us (follow all traffic rules---but we ALWAYS follow ALL traffic rules, right??? ha ha). We don’t want any traffic jams and want to reach our destination on our timeline. But, we all know traffic laws are not always followed. Drivers are distracted (texting/talking on phone), and some are just bad drivers. We can’t control this, and this makes us vulnerable every time we get into a car. Someone could hit you and cause major damage to the car and worse, yourself and your kids. It’s very scary. Yet, do we acknowledge this vulnerability? Most of us do not. Instead, we attempt to control our environment.
What does Controlling the Uncontrollable Look Like?
- Getting angry when someone doesn’t act the way you expect them to
- Yelling at traffic to get out of your way
- Annoyed when your customers aren’t satisfied
- Shaming your body to be/look a certain way
- Worrying about what the next week will be like
Finding your Flow may not always Follow your Rules
Our attempts to control life get in the way of the flow of life. A life of peace involves trusting in the flow of things. Did somebody cancel on you at the last minute? Is there a major traffic jam and you are running late? Does someone disregard your political beliefs? While these may be things you wouldn’t dream of saying/doing to another person, you have to remember those are your rules. By following the flow, you are accepting things are out of your control and choosing not to let them bug you. I’m not suggesting this is necessarily the easiest thing to do, but it WILL bring you peace to accept others and your environment for what it is.
Following the flow of life is about accepting what is showing up. Are you wanting something so much that you are trying to force it to happen (and wearing yourself out in the process?) Perhaps it’s finding the man/woman of your dreams, getting pregnant, or turning your business profitable. Is it possible what you desire may not be what your life has in mind for you, but something more?
"God can dream a bigger dream for me, for you, than you could ever dream for yourself. When you've worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and pled and bargained and hoped...surrender. When you have done all that you can do, and there's nothing left for you to do, give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself, and let it then become a part of the flow." — Oprah
Following the flow of life is about accepting what is showing up. Are you wanting something so much that you are trying to force it to happen (and wearing yourself out in the process?) Perhaps it’s finding the man/woman of your dreams, getting pregnant, or turning your business profitable. Is it possible what you desire may not be what your life has in mind for you, but something more?
"God can dream a bigger dream for me, for you, than you could ever dream for yourself. When you've worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and pled and bargained and hoped...surrender. When you have done all that you can do, and there's nothing left for you to do, give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself, and let it then become a part of the flow." — Oprah
Steps to Surrender to and Accept the Flow
- Be present with what you are struggling to make happen - “I am in traffic right now, running late for my meeting, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
- Acknowledge the feelings associated with it - “It makes me feel angry and frustrated with myself. I should have known there would be traffic. I feel like running all of these other cars over.”
- Let them be present and just watch them--have compassion for yourself - “This is beyond my control. I know I hate being late for things, but here I am. [insert your name here], don’t be so hard on yourself.”
- Ask them to be released - “I am willing to let you go anger...frustration. This too shall pass.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.
Do this process every time you feel the urge to create/force the thing you want. It may be every minute some days. Some days it may be every hour. But keep doing it. It works.
Image credit: Small Waterfall by Jonathan Gill via Creative Commons License Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0
RSS Feed
