COACHING TO DISCOVER
  • LEADERSHIP COACHING
  • PODCASTS
  • LIFE COACHING
  • TESTIMONIALS
  • MEET ANDREA
  • CLIENT RESOURCES
  • BLOG
  • LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT RESOURCES
Andrea Hotton, Professional Coach

Are you Should-ing on Yourself?

8/3/2015

3 Comments

 
Should-Magnets
Do you hear yourself saying “I should…” a lot?

I listen to people and note how many times I hear “I should…” which makes me pause. What is this “I should”-ing about?

Perhaps it means, “I am supposed to be doing such and such, but I don’t really want to.”

What if you changed the word “should” to “want”?
  • I should go to church.  (no action)
  • I want to go to church.  (likelihood for action)
  • I want to do [insert your passion] for my career, but I should stay at my steady job. (no action)
How does changing “should” to “want” change the meaning for you?  Do you feel you “should” be a moral person, you “should” go to church?  Is this your truth?  Or what culture/society/family tells you is “your” truth?

What if you don’t really feel you need to attend church or [insert your “should” here]?

Do shoulds ever get into action? A lot of times, no.  But sometimes guilt shows up in full force and gets you in action.  But, do you want to take action (or no action) out of guilt?  Is that being authentic with yourself (See my latest post on authenticity here)?  In the end, aren’t you just being dishonest with yourself?
  • I should go to church.  (no action)
  • I don’t see the value in attending church.  (being authentic to your values)
See the honesty here?  But this kind of statement risks the backlash from those around you. They may think you are turning your back from God or are naturally an evil person.  And they can’t handle the fact you think/feel/are this way.

But what matters most?  What you think for yourself and what serves you? Or what others think of you and what serves them?

Start listening to your should statements.  Ask for others to help catch you when you do.  Take those statements and write them down.  Then take out the word “should” and insert “want.”  Does it resonate?  If no, change the words to find your true authentic feelings.

Maybe attending church isn’t the answer, but what are you really looking for?  A spiritual practice?  A community?  salvation?  Getting clear on this is very important.  Keep asking the question:  what do I want?  what truly resonates?  Eventually you will get to your real answer.  Working with a life coach can help you with finding this clarity.


Image credit: Should Magnets by Marilyn M. via Creative Commons License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0
3 Comments
Macie Downs link
9/21/2021 05:07:47 pm

Interesting thoughhts

Reply
Joshua Melendez link
11/2/2022 05:19:01 pm

Sister deep what suggest determine. Art into chance because.
This note story enter its. Range likely area course heavy try say.
Billion quite here remain. Trip much security discover return beat.

Reply
Gregory Terrell link
11/15/2022 04:51:44 am

Toward second see various my.
Business push consumer early resource father right.
Half threat effect sing myself. Black history certainly daughter research.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Author

    Andrea helps clients declutter and get organized in a sustainable way that works long-term for them.  Andrea also coaches private clients on career changes and personal development, helping them create a fulfilling, happy and exciting life.   In her free time, Andrea enjoys cross-country skiing, reading and road cycling.

    Archives

    June 2019
    October 2018
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015

    Categories

    All

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.