Do you hear yourself saying “I should…” a lot?
I listen to people and note how many times I hear “I should…” which makes me pause. What is this “I should”-ing about?
Perhaps it means, “I am supposed to be doing such and such, but I don’t really want to.”
What if you changed the word “should” to “want”?
I listen to people and note how many times I hear “I should…” which makes me pause. What is this “I should”-ing about?
Perhaps it means, “I am supposed to be doing such and such, but I don’t really want to.”
What if you changed the word “should” to “want”?
- I should go to church. (no action)
- I want to go to church. (likelihood for action)
- I want to do [insert your passion] for my career, but I should stay at my steady job. (no action)
What if you don’t really feel you need to attend church or [insert your “should” here]?
Do shoulds ever get into action? A lot of times, no. But sometimes guilt shows up in full force and gets you in action. But, do you want to take action (or no action) out of guilt? Is that being authentic with yourself (See my latest post on authenticity here)? In the end, aren’t you just being dishonest with yourself?
But what matters most? What you think for yourself and what serves you? Or what others think of you and what serves them?
Start listening to your should statements. Ask for others to help catch you when you do. Take those statements and write them down. Then take out the word “should” and insert “want.” Does it resonate? If no, change the words to find your true authentic feelings.
Maybe attending church isn’t the answer, but what are you really looking for? A spiritual practice? A community? salvation? Getting clear on this is very important. Keep asking the question: what do I want? what truly resonates? Eventually you will get to your real answer. Working with a life coach can help you with finding this clarity.
Image credit: Should Magnets by Marilyn M. via Creative Commons License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0
Do shoulds ever get into action? A lot of times, no. But sometimes guilt shows up in full force and gets you in action. But, do you want to take action (or no action) out of guilt? Is that being authentic with yourself (See my latest post on authenticity here)? In the end, aren’t you just being dishonest with yourself?
- I should go to church. (no action)
- I don’t see the value in attending church. (being authentic to your values)
But what matters most? What you think for yourself and what serves you? Or what others think of you and what serves them?
Start listening to your should statements. Ask for others to help catch you when you do. Take those statements and write them down. Then take out the word “should” and insert “want.” Does it resonate? If no, change the words to find your true authentic feelings.
Maybe attending church isn’t the answer, but what are you really looking for? A spiritual practice? A community? salvation? Getting clear on this is very important. Keep asking the question: what do I want? what truly resonates? Eventually you will get to your real answer. Working with a life coach can help you with finding this clarity.
Image credit: Should Magnets by Marilyn M. via Creative Commons License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0
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